THE ADVENTURES OF.....MIRANDA FRU♡♥

THIS IS MIRANDA FRU♡, SHE LIKES WEARING TIARAS, EATING 

MARMITE CHOCOLATE AND SIPPING CHAMPAGNE. HER BEST FRIEND IS ALFIE 

MCWILLY.

MIRANDA FRU = MY SUPER EGO((IF NOT OVER 

INDULGENT))VAGINA. WOMEN HAVE A 

"DOUGHNUT HOLE SENSIBILITY"....OR FANNY 

"VAGINA VOID" (Ladies, your vagina is not some mystical wonderland you get to visit only while having sex with your spouse.((WHILST READING COSMO-ALWAYS MULTITASK DARLINGS...)) Your vagina is a part of your anatomy -You need to learn to treat it with respect and love)

SO IF YOUR NOT QUITE READY TO SHOUT VAGINA, OR SIT IN FRONT OF A MIRROR AND DRAW YOUR LADY TACO- GIVE IT AN ALTER EGO- ALTERNATIVELY WRITE A NARRATIVE   ( THE ADVENTURES OF FELICITY FLAPS) ..

IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR SELF PORTRAIT...DONT DECOUPAGE IT WITH GLITTER GLUE OR CALL IN VAGINA BUSTERS (IF THERES SOMETHING STRANGE DOWN IN YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD- WHO YOU CAN CALL........118118((NO NO)).....♡.....Sam xox 

BARBIE HAS HER VAJINGO TIGHTENED BY YOURS TRUELY ♡!!!??!

Even  BARBIE needs to maintain her TIGHT LITTLE VAJINGO along with her 38-18-34 frame. BLESSED WITH KILLER LOOKS AND AMPLE ASSETS (( NOT INCLUDING "BARBIE SNIP+STYLE VAJAYJAY SALON" ))= THE MOST CONTEMPORARY VAGINA HOTEL / HOSPITAL ....EVER ((as THE leading specialist we do have admitting rights here = EGO MOMENT))

FOR THOSE INTERESTED- BARBIE IS RECOVERING WELL.SHE FEELS IT HAS CHANGED HER LIFE.((END))

➜ANYWAY FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THIS PROCEDURE AND FOR FURTHER PATIENT TESTIMONIALS CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE:

 http://www.cosmeticsurgery4u.co.uk/index.php?pnv=genitalsurgery_inc


Sam xox

MERKINI....

MERKIN( PUBIC WIG )......SO...A WIG FOR YOUR BUSH. STRAIGHTEN IT, PERM IT, BRAID IT, STYLE IT, SEQUIN IT, ..IM GUESSING YOU GET IT??...   (( DONATE YOUR HEAD HAIR TO YOUR VAGINA BECAUSE IT HAS FEELINGS TOO..((and needs style...ssssh don't tell it it'll get offended))...))

IMPORTANT: DONT NEGLECT YOUR BUSH.....Sam xox

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER ♡

If you like what you see. FOLLOW US ON ♡TWITTER♡

http://twitter.com/twitoplasty

INTERESTED IN PRUNING UR FL♡WER? ..this is your HUMOROUS & FRANK BIBLE for anything FANNY RELATED from THE LEADING FEMALE GENITAL SURGEON (& CO)on TWITTER = ♥FACT♥.

POODLE YOUR BUSH???

BOLDY GOING (DOWN THERE ➷ ) WHERE NO COLOUR HAS BEEN BEFORE.....POODLE YOUR BUSH!! What it says on the box-((Complete Grey & GINGER coverage)) MATCH THE COLOUR ON YOUR FENCE TO THE COLOUR OF YOUR HEDGE......

Sam xox

VAJING♥ Vajazzling...

VAJINGO (FANNY) VAJAZZLING.....YES PLEASE i want an encrusted ((GEMS)) PINK TACO...((FOR ONCE I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD)) ....IF YOU DO CHECK OUT http://twitter.com/twitoplasty .
Sam xox

PRUNE YOUR FLOWER ♡

INTERESTED IN PRUNING YOUR FL♥WER?? 

Here is your Gardener.......DRUM ROLL PLEASE....DR/MR ERIK SCHOLTEN MD PhD. ((IGNORE EVERYTHING HURLINGHAM= EXTINCT(IN ADMINISTRATION TOO POSH DARLING)) .................ANYWAY this is your BIBLE for anything FANNY-RELATED from THE LEADING FEMALE GENITAL SURGEON.

((= FACT)). A peek over the hedge at FEMALE GENITAL SURGERY....

((NEVER PRUNE YOUR OWN FLOWER!!!)) ...Sam xox

GET YOUR VAJINGO BACK .......

Everybody has that "HE'S LOOKING AT MY FLOWER IT " (( WHATS WRONG WITH MY BUSH)) moment OR you have that rant about injustices wrought against YOUR VAGINA, such as tampons and birth. WE  L♡VE TO HATE OUR VAGINAS!....

Check out our PODCAST TO GET YOUR VAJINGO BACK.

 FEMALE GENITAL SURGERY PODCAST ♥

THE DELICIOUS ({;})...........

({;})= V SYMBOL ♡

........ fairy cakes with pink frosting AND CUTE LITTLE CLITORIS SPRINKLES. Even i can be persuaded to eat VAGINA confectionary.... (( UMMM POSSIBILITY FOR GLITTER AND FROSTING PUBIC WIG???? )) SAM XOX

FOR WANT OF A BETTER WORD....VAGINA♡

♥♡♡FROM YOUR FROUFROU TO YOUR MARY we all need to step up and talk about our VAGINAS. There is no universal euphemism for it. It is what it is.. A VAGINA.(( DEFINITION OF VAGINA =Somewhere to sheathe your sword)) MALE EGO...URGH..DEPRESSING!!??! NOT THAT I AM GOING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH MINE ANYTIME SOON, MAYBE ASK IT FOR A MOCHA..NO NO...I  just think they're not going away anytime soon so we might as well embrace the things...ALTOGETHER NOW......I HAVE A VAGINA!! ((sounded better in my head)) Sam xox

IPHONE + AUNT FLO = SERENITY ♥

The IPHONE ♡♡♥ ((HINT: I HAVE IPHONE ENVY.. IWANTANIPHONE.COM)) is an excellent tool for all us girlies who try sipping Rose whilst running in heels to Tescos to get "SWEETIES" because we forgot Aunt Flo was coming to town (( WHY SHE JUST CANT EAT HUMBUGS ILL NEVER KNOW??)). Yep i HATE her SURPRISE moments too... This delightful app tracks her down and uses'lil hearts and flowers to denote those important days and events (to be fair, "OVULATION" & "I KICKED AUNT FLO TO THE CURB" would be a little too long to fit into those cute boxes). I ♡ HOW WE CAN NOW ORGANISE OUR VAJINGOS FLOWERS WOOWOO VAGINAS LIVES ;) Sam x

WEEK OF THE LADY GARDEN!!

TO KICK OFF CELEBRATING "WEEK OF THE LADY GARDEN" WE THOUGHT WE WOULD GET THE BALL ROLLING WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LIGHT HEARTED LAWN MOWING.- WE WILL PLANTING THE SEEDS FOR DESIGNER VAGINAS AND GENITAL PRUNING SO KEEP CHECKING BACK. ENJOY SAM X

DIY FACELIFT ??.....

For a while it seemed as if DERMAL FILLERS and BOTOX© would be the holy grails of youth rejuvenation. Now however, Everyone can get that taut, fresh-faced look  with the new DIY guide to face lifts. P&P included.

Insiders advice: ONLY USE TRAINED PRACTITIONERS!!!! (P.S I ♥♡ LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS IMAGE BY LUCY AND BART) Sam xxox

COMING SOON !!??

COMING SOON JUST FOR YOU ♡.....THE LATEST TRENDS IN COSMETIC + PLASTIC SURGERY....QUIRKY, FRANK AND TO THE POINT... "CAN SOMEONE MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL???"..... SPEAK SOON SAM XX